50?...50??...50???...really? Then how come I don't feel that old? :-/ After all, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to be when I grow up. One thing I feel deep inside is that this is going to be a large year. I love it that I will roll out of my forties with one of my greatest blessings of this era, my sweet little Camille that made me "Nana". Anyone who reads my Facebook can see I am over the top in love with my grandaughter!
So, today begins the off road hike whereby every time someone asks "how old are you?" that I will reply 50....with a smile on my face. Except for my stupid back that hurts almost everyday of my life and my gel pack abs that have replaced the six pack abs, I proudly sported on the beach in my 30's; I actually feel pretty good about turning a half century old. My staff at Bank of America opened the path by showing up dressed in total black... I didn't even notice until someone said something about it! I work in a bank after all....we all wear black or something in that part of the color wheel 75% of the week. For you artists, yes, I know black is not on the color wheel but in the conservative business world, the color wheel of fashion includes black, grey, charcoal...you get the picture. I wore my flashing button that announced to every customer that "oh no, the big 50" was a reality for me. My line moved a little slow today due to gabbing with anyone brave enough to make a comment! haha
On a slightly more serious note, I have found myself being very introspective as I approach this milestone. Quietly gazing on the people in my life the Lord has blessed me with and feeling so much peace and joy. Christmas without Bryan, Betsy and Camille was hard, hard, hard (did I say hard?) for me to swallow and I prayed daily for God to lift up my heart and show me the joy...as always, He came through! I'm sitting here counting the people in my heart that daily make me smile and bring tears to my eyes at how much I adore them. My heart feels so full that I want to share it with the world and try and let you see through my heart and words who they are to me....
I will start with my little sis, Sharon, aka Aunt Sha to my kids. I wish she lived just a little bit closer and in a climate where I could wear my favorite flip flops and tube top dress over my bathing suit. But Bangor, Maine never gets warm enough for that sort of fashion statement. Mainers would look at you like you had grown a third eye if you showed up in Walmart dressed like that. Sharon and I had a typical childhood sister relationship...love. hate. don't touch my Barbies. want you to move into my room and then drawing a line down the center of the room and daring you to cross over it would mean serious business! By the way...she drew the line, not me, just for the record. hehe But now, she is one of my BFF's. She can make me laugh at the drop of a hat with her very, very funny sayings regarding her life at 44 with a 4 year old and 3 month old twins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today she melted me to tears with a text message saying she wished she was boarding a plane to be with me to celebrate my 50th and then a second later breaking me into laughter about how in the world, calm cool and collected Jason and her end up with TWO boys that are "high energy" (yes, the nice phrase for wild boys with more energy than parents are equipped to keep up with)!! She is an amazing woman with a fabulous sense of humor, a beauty that starts on the outside and runs so deep that you can not even see the bottom, and a spirit of devotion to her incredible husband Jason and all her family that I can't even find words large enough to convey. Yes, I adore you sis! ;-)
If you enjoyed....stay tuned...there will be more ;-
xo
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